HOW COLD IS IT?
60 - Californians put on sweaters
(if they can find one in their wardrobe)
French cars don't start (but they never do)
50 - Miami residents turn on the heat
British cars don't start
40 - You can see your breath
Californians buy down survival gear
Arizonans shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming
35 - Italian cars don't start, but who cares
Alaskans pop a cold beer
Floridians create fuel oil crisis
32 - Water freezes
30 - You plan your vacation to Australia
Minnesotans put on T-shirts
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
Alaskans turn off the air conditioner
Your boogers freeze
25 - Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
20 - You can hear your breath
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes and taste improves
Miami residents plan vacation further South
American cars don't start
15 - You plan a vacation in Mexico
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 - Too cold to ski
You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 - You plan your vacation in Houston
American cars don't start
0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts
Too cold to skate
-10 - German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you blink
Too cold for ski lodge and ski bunnies
Drivers need starter fluid
-15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist
-20 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don't start
-25 - Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
Californians plan their next vacation on the Sun
-30 - You plan a two week hot bath
The Mighty Monongahela freezes
Swedishcars don't start
-40 - Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South
-50 - Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window
-80 - Hell freezes over
Polar bears move south
Green Bay Packer Fans put on their shirt