| o C | o F | Response |
|---|---|---|
| 16 | 60 |
- Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe) - French cars don't start (but they never do) |
| 10 | 50 |
- Miami residents turn on the heat - British cars don't start |
| 4 | 40 |
- You can see your breath - Californians buy down survival gear - Arizonans shiver uncontrollably - Minnesotans go swimming |
| 2 | 35 |
- Italian cars don't start, but who cares - Alaskans pop a cold beer - Floridians create fuel oil crisis |
| 0 | 32 |
- Water freezes |
| -1 | 30 |
- You plan your vacation to Australia - Minnesotans put on T-shirts - Politicians begin to worry about the homeless - Alaskans turn off the air conditioner - Your boogers freeze |
| -4 | 25 |
- Boston water freezes - Californians weep pitiably - Minnesotans eat ice cream - Canadians go swimming |
| -7 | 20 |
- You can hear your breath - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless - New York City water freezes and taste improves - Miami residents plan vacation further South - American cars don't start |
| -9 | 15 |
- You plan a vacation in Mexico - Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you |
| -12 | 10 |
- Too cold to ski - You need jumper cables to get the car going |
| -15 | 5 |
- You plan your vacation in Houston - American cars don't start |
| -18 | 0 |
- Alaskans put on T-shirts - Too cold to skate |
| -23 | -10 |
- German cars don't start - Eyes freeze shut when you blink - Too cold for ski lodge and ski bunnies - Drivers need starter fluid |
| -26 | -15 |
- You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo - Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects - Miami residents cease to exist |
| -29 | -20 |
- Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you - Politicians actually do something about the homeless - Minnesotans shovel snow off roof - Japanese cars don't start |
| -32 | -25 |
- Too cold to think - You need jumper cables to get the driver going - Californians plan their next vacation on the Sun |
| -34 | -30 |
- You plan a two week hot bath - The Mighty Monongahela freezes - Swedish cars don't start |
| -40 | -40 |
- Californians disappear - Minnesotans button top button - Canadians put on sweaters - Your car helps you plan your trip South |
| -46 | -50 |
- Congressional hot air freezes - Alaskans close the bathroom window |
| -62 | -80 |
- Hell freezes over - Polar bears move south - Green Bay Packer Fans put on their shirt |